girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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