dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
