I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
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