my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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