That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
