I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
