I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
