Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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