Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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