How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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