We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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