im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
