Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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