I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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