More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
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