remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
50% drunk capacity currently
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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