How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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