I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
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