its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Alive.
So much puke
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
