i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
