So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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