Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
