I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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