she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize