I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
