I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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