I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
