I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
