i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
