just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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