Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize