Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Bring me that man meat
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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