Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I'm at about main and main street
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
