Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
