So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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