Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize
