Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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