Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
