Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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