People in love make me want to vomit
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
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