I molested 6 butterflies tonight
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
