there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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