fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
