This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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