No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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