i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize