Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
My ATM looks so different sober.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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