are you still at the devil's house?
My nipple is on Facebook.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
