Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize