They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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