I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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