I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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