i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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