I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
it glows. i had to have it.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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