Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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