yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
