Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
