He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
you mean i was at the winter classic?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Randomize
