So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
