did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
