ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
