what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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